Thursday, September 25, 2008

The vanishing stretch mark & the end of Clexane!!

The other night I felt particularly stretched as TP reclined right across my belly. When I showed Mr G my belly he gleefully pointed out a stretch mark. I suppose it was about time. Funny thing was that the next day it was gone....weird.

I have (finally) stabbed myself for the last time this pregnancy. (That's not that i think i'll be lucky enough to have any more but superstitious covering in case I end up having to try this again. On Tuesday, I shot up my last Clexane. At some point i'll work out just how many needles i've stuck in my belly/thigh/butt. It feels a bit like that time after you've done your Pregnyl (trigger) pre-harvest and you're on a stab free few days. V strange.

I've started ante natal and opened up to the group that this baby is the result of 5 IVF's. One other girl confessed (should it be a confession or a badge of honour) that she (at 39, same age as me) is also a successful ICSI girl. Hers was first time though. Still, it'll be good to bond with someone who has shared the experience. All the others - 12 of them - are all lucky natural preggers people. I suppose, statistically, we're bang on the money. 2 in a group of 14, 1 in 7.

I'm making supper for my family on Monday night for Jewish New Year, so I need to give some thought to what they'll be eating. Mr G and I are off for a mini break tomorrow until Monday morning. Should be lovely and relaxing. Just an English country hotel with a spa. Shame i've got to come back and shop and cook crazily. I'll keep it simple.

Time to take my New Year's Honey Cake out of the oven. xx

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Long time no blog

It's official.

I'm a rubbish blogger. I started this post over a week ago and it's taken me that long to get back to it!!

It's been too long - not that there hasn't been plenty to keep me busy - good and bad. I'll summarise in point form or i'll never get through it - and you'll be bored to tears reading it...

I'm now 33 weeks and looking bigger and bigger. I've put on about 30 something pounds and most of that aint' TP. Unless that baby comes out the size of a small toddler i've a lot of work to do at some point. Never mind.

I've had 2 growth scans that both had me quite a bit worried. The first was my NHS (free on public health service) scan. Most things checked out ok, BUT and it was a big but (not unlike my own) abdominal growth has slowed a little. Still within the average lines, but dropped on what it was. Add to that that my amniotic fluid is borderline low and you've got a worried pregnant lady. Our Consultant said not to worry but to keep an eye on how much movement the baby makes. NOT TO WORRY! NOT TO WORRY WHEN I'VE GOT TO BE CONSTANTLY AWARE OF HOW MUCH THIS LITTLE CREATURE INSIDE ME IS MOVING. No chance. I'm trying to be calm, but it's very hard. It's made more difficult by the fact that TP has no routine. Some days there's a circus going on in there and Today i was going mad waiting for a kick, roll or squirm. On Tuesday, we're going for a private scan to check out whether the NHS got it right.

The private scan said abdomen and amniotic fluid are fine...(Amniotic fluid index 16.8 instead of 9.8 on NHS scan). However, they said that TP's femurs and thighs are small - down in 5th percentile and that the cerebellum is also a little on the small side. They ended up by saying they're not worried at all and they don't need to scan me again. And i'm not going to fret over that???!!!! Still, nothing I can do but wait and see.

TP as decided to lie across me in in what's called transverse breech position. It's cute but not overly comfortable and will mean that we're in for a definite c-section unless that baby moves. I'm not hugely worried but would prefer to try to give birth naturally, esp since the hospital we'd like to give birth at (and are signed up to) has an amazing birth unit if you can do it on your own but a horrid VIctorian ward for those who need help....more on that when i've more time.

This has annoyed me. This is my fantastic clinic that did the do for me. Granted their admin is rubbish but they get the results and the man CARES. I don't want to see him hounded out of town by the jealous Docs who don't get the same results. All the clinics could be guilty of what he's accused of. Our last clinic were twice as bad as him and i don't see them being sued.

Still not a lot of purchasing going on for TP but progress is being made. We did start today, with some newborn grows, booties, mitts and hats. I almost cried in the shop and thought i'd have to go to the ladies to calm down. It was all a bit much. Do normal (fertile) mums get this emotional? We've chosen some bits and pieces from a big London Dept store and chosen our buggy. Just gotta get it ordered.

I'm starting get my 1st trimester exhaustion back again. i can't do a whole night without a toilet trip and if I get too awake i lie thinking about TP and hoping all will be ok.

So much to do and only 40 something days left to do it. Maybe even less!

I've just started my ante natal classes. There are loads of us there - 11 couples(!) - so hopefully i'll meet someone to compare notes with...

By girls on the verge of treatment. I had lunch and dinner with 2 separate friends at the start of treatment last week. My hairdresser is about to start her IVF as is another friend who's also my travel agent and one of my editors at work. A good friend is also in the midst of it and has had 2 cycles already. She's off to Turkey for no 3 in the New Year. A friend who adopted has asked me to talk to a friend of hers who's about to start IVF as she (adoptive mum to 2) feels i'm more up to date in my knowledge. I can't believe how many people I know in this boat now. I wish i could do more to help than talk to them.

I need an early night so i'm off for a light supper and to wind down a bit

Love to you all - i'll post a bump pic this week. Belly button is half popped - v weird look.

Sorry for long post.