Friday, July 31, 2009

Nine months

B turned 9 months today. He's been longer out than in now.

In celebration of his anniversary here's a link to a website on which he's modeled a bear suit (don't he look too, too cute) and a little bit about him:

Weight - somewhere in the region of 19lbs I would think. He's on the 25th percentile - well, just below - so he's a little baby. As they don't measure height here i have no idea how tall he is. He seems pretty average.

Favourite thing to do - crawl up to the sofa, stand up and press the keys on my laptop or crawl over to the telephone, take it off the holder and press the buttons. Remote controls do it for him too.

Least favourite thing to do - lie still have have his nappy changed or have his face wiped- which elicits screams like he's being murdered.

Favourite toy - probably my mobile (cell) phone but as that's not generally on offer, his purple Lamaz.e elephant that plays tunes, in fact most things that play tunes go down pretty well.

Sleeps - not enough for my liking, but we're very slowly getting there. I'm not generally up several times a night any more (i just know i will be now i've typed that) so we're still not an overnight kinda baby. Naps are sporadic. I think perhaps had i tried harder to follow a specific routine things might be easier. And then perhaps they wouldn't be....

He's a happy, sociable and smiley baby. He loves being around other kids and really engages people around us. He's been crawling for a couple of months and people told us he'd be walking by 9 months. He's not, thank goodness, but he's all round our home and in everything. Never a dull moment and he's always up for a laugh. If we're laughing he'll start too. Sometimes, if he falls asleep on me - only really when he's sick now - he laughs as he's dropping off. I always wonder what the joke is.

IF news - can't do monitored cycle until i've had a couple of normal periods. I've only had one since i stopped feeding B. I'm in no rush. B keeps me busy and if he's all we have i'll still feel blessed. As Mr G and I aren't working so have zero income, just savings to keep us at the moment, perhaps financially we shouldn't even try.

Still doing more thinking than acting on my new blog. You'll be the first to hear when I finally get something sorted.

Off to get some supper and try to catch up on another episode of Brothers and Sisters. I love that programme. I'm so far behind, the ads are all for Xmas stuff. Kitty and gorgeous Rob Lowe (drool, drool) have just found out they'll be able to adopt a baby. I've found a lot of their story lines very emotional. (I need to get out more) I've also noticed that i've missed the last 4 episodes of the series as our box failed to record. Does anyone know if this is out on DVD yet?

Have a good weekend xx

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I'm torn.

I want to continue sharing my (unexciting) world but am finding it difficult to blog. This blog wasn't created to write baby stuff, it was to off load my IF thoughts and emotions and communicate with others in the same boat. I'm still infertile, but as I've been so darned lucky as to have been have my prayers answered I feel like the day-to-day stuff is not really blog-able. I don't want to upset those still on their journey.

For some time i've thought I should stop moaning on about my issues over this and should set up a new blog which will detail my daily stuff and, in particular, the foodie side of life - which i'm itching to offload since i lost my column. I'm going to make that a priority and create a second blog. I'll post a link to that one in due course.

I'll keep this one about IF, IVF and that side of myself, which is still very much in existence.

On that subject, we went back to our clinic yesterday. We've been discussing 'what next' for some time. As i'm now 40, i'm constantly being asked what will we do about a second baby - 'you've not much time to waste'. I'm grateful for my one but I know that if we don't try for a second I may regret that in the future. We've one frostie at our first clinic from our very first cycle. The odds of that coming to anything are MINISCULE. Our chances of a fresh cycle working were about 1%, 5% at most. Problem is, there's a little bit of me and Mr G waiting for us. We can't destroy it - it could be our baby. Most likely it will come to nothing, but Mr G and I feel we have no choice.

So, yesterday we took B to the clinic for our follow up appointment. It was very odd arriving there with B. I felt SO uncomfortable sitting there with him. We could've found a sitter, but he's not well and we also don't really want to go public about our plans. Too much pressure. I could see those mid-cycle glancing or avoiding glancing at B as he chattered away in his buggy. I kept saying to Mr G that i'd wait outside but he told me to stop being oversensitive.

We were seen by someone we'd never met before who'd clearly never read our file. For £100 we learned nothing more than we knew already. We'll have to do a monitored cycle and then can do a frozen cycle for about half what it cost to do a fresh one there. Not worth doing a fresh one in case we end up with more embryos. The monitored cycle will tell if my FS.H has shot through the fertility roof making fresh cycles pointless anyway. The stupid Dr who'd not read the file said if my FS,H was more than 10 then we'd be best not to do a cycle. I pointed out that B was a result of a cycle done with FS.H of 10.4 or 10.6. (That makes me angry that she'd not checked up anything at all)

So, next month, a monitored cycle.

I popped into the office as i saw one of the original nurses there. She was really pleased to see me and B. She said it was nice seeing me (and girls like me) back to normal as she only sees people at the height of their stress. I went to the bathroom there (tmi but bear with me) which was where they used to do my proge.sterone injections if Mr G was away. I sat there and my heart sank. Can i do this again? Can I face the injections? Reality bit.

We also sent to shake the hand of Mr T - head honcho there. He was all smiles and talk of siblings. (Portia P raises eyebrows and looks doubtful) We told him he'd changed our lives. It's true.

I need to pop back to read what's going on for you all. I've a dinner for 70 to cook for Friday - which i'm doing for free as it's a charitable cause - so it'll most likely be at the weekend when things have calmed down. B has croup too - which is not terribly pleasant for any of us as he's pretty sick and sleeping badly. I'm exhausted but apologise for moaning. I know it's too irritating to hear moans from those that have.