Friday, August 29, 2008

All you Miss Muffets

I'm sorry if I scared you off!

I had zero comments on my last post. I think the spider must have given you all the heebeegeebees. I'm so very sorry!

Its actually been a slow blog week. Lowish numbers of updates. I have little to report really. Working hard still but gearing up to gear down a little.

I need to dedicate some time to prepping for TP.

Mr G and I went to look at prams and are more confused than ever. I thought we'd be brave enough to buy one itty bitty piece of clothing for TP, but we couldn't go there. I'm not sure when i'll feel brave enough to buy the little one anything. Hopefully before the arrival....

I'm about to switch off. I've a 3 hr pasta class to teach tomorrow and lots of chores to do with Mr G this weekend.

Have a good weekend all of you xx

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Yuck, yuck, yuck

I've had a few nights sleeping through but the last couple i've been up at 3 and 3.30am for a bathroom run.

We have an ensuite toilet but I don't like to use it for fear of waking Mr G. So, last night, i made the trip down the hallway in the dark as usual. En route i trod on something squelchy that left my foot wet. I continued to the toilet and after i'd squeezed out a few drops I went back to investigate.

I found this....if you're arachnophobic don't scroll down....

I truly HATE spiders and am petrified of them! The penny is there to give you an idea of the sizer of the unfortunate arachnid out for a night time stroll. I feel sick looking at the pic. I TROD ON THAT THING WITH MY BARE FOOT!!!!!! Eugh!

I wiped my foot and got back into bed but couldn't sleep for ages. It didn't help that TP had an attack of the hiccups (which happens quite a lot and feels like a weird pulse going in my tummy) which always concerns me.

I'm really tired - worked a lot this week but am now feeling just a bit drained. Next week's a quieter one thank goodness and we've a new girl starting at the Cookery School so i'll be training her up with a view to stepping back. It's time to start planning some stuff for TP. We've done NOTHING. We're both too scared to buy anything. I think we do need to give it some thought now. We even need to change our car as neither my gorgeous mini nor Mr G's sporty 2 seater are really very suitable.

Tuesday will be 30 weeks - unbelievable. I still feel nervous even anticipating that. I was with my Auntie on Friday having lunch. She talked of nothing else but baby stuff. It was all a bit much and I burst into tears. I said - with ugly crying face - that I just couldn't believe i was even having this conversation with her and how i'm still really scared. TP has some more growing to do AND has to get out into the world. That bit worries me a lot. Not the pain - cos i'll deal with that - but the safety of the baby. I'd almost rather have a c-section just to be sure that nothing goes wrong.

Lets hope I can be less neurotic when the little one arrives. I hope so. I still feel so blessed to have come this far.

Please pop over to see two of my favourite ladies who could both do with some support. Andi's had a low positive beta at her first attempt with her sister's eggs and could do with some cheering on whilst the lovely BeeCee has had a nasty time with her 5th IVF and could do with a hug. I'm thinking of you both, girls.


Sunday, August 17, 2008

Busy, busy, busy

I can't believe it's Monday already tomorrow.

I'm only in the office Mon - Wed and by Wed night the four weekend days stretch ahead like a mini break. I managed to pack those four days so full with other work, chores and outings, they've just flown.

Also, Mr G has been doing a bit of radio - which was his career until a couple of years ago - 3 overnight shifts in a row - so has been leaving at 11pm ish and returning at 6am ish so my sleep has been all over the place and he has been catching up on sleep at any opportunity - in between other commitments - a 4D scan for TP and a trip to celebrate my Mum's birthday.

As soon as his head touches the pillow - after a quick belly stroke (mine not his!) - he starts to snore, and my sleep is over. I got up at 6.30am today and watched this film whilst eating my breakfast and then had a short nap before heading off to the supermarket - how much do I hate grocery shopping on a Sunday! We then went off to my Mum's birthday lunch. I've worked since I got home and will go to bed soon in anticipation of my early start tomorrow.

The scan was weird. Unlike previous scans we were less emotional but I think that was down to the super annoying woman who did it. TP had her/his legs up over his/her head with feet right on the head. It was difficult to get a good view so I had to get up and drink sweet hot choc and walk about a bit to try and shift the little angel. It didn't really work but we did get some nice shots. Little blighter had been really active all night - i wondered at the time if he/she recognised Daddy's voice on the radio - and was probably worn out.

When we got home, we looked again at the scan - they give you a 15 minute DVD of the best shots - which we played to this song - which has always been a special one for us and we both were sobbing. I still can't believe that we have got this far. There's a little person in my belly and that makes me so grateful. I'm praying that little person makes it out of my belly safe and sound and is a healthy little baby.

Time to go make Mr G his evening's food. Sandwiches, fruit - which he won't eat - a flask of coffee and some chocs. I've given him some dried fruit tonight to try to keep the choc consumption down. He's so stressed and busy and sleep deprived he's freebasing it at the moment.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Daddy's birthday

My father would have been 67 today.

He'd have celebrated with a meal out and lots of champagne. Always lover of luxury he'd have liked a glass of Krug. He'd have made a fuss if his table wasn't in the best part of the restaurant and if the champagne wasn't chilled enough. He was very particular and embarrassed us children hugely in restaurants when he complained so we'd want to hide under the table. I'd be delighted for him to come back and embarrass us again. Just to hear him say my name and call me 'darling'. For him to give me a hug like I remember the last few hugs before he got too sick to hug from his hospital bed. I'd love to smell his aftershave. I wish he was still here with us.

I hate that I can't even remember how we celebrated the last birthday we shared with him. Not a clue. Perhaps he was away - he liked the sun and spent lots of summers in the sun. A true Leo. How can such important memories fade so badly.

I'm grateful and happy that i'm carrying a little piece of him, from his gene pool - someone who will carry on my Daddy's line - if not his name. I'm sad, so sad, that my Daddy isn't here to pat my bump and tell his friends about my pending arrival (please G-d) and to smile at me as I grow.

I'm sorry - if any of you girls still hoping for your miracle are still reading about my life - that this is such a 'pregnant' post.

Happy Birthday Daddy and thank you for everything you did for me. We didn't have the perfect relationship but you gave me such a great start in life and I know you loved me in your own way. I love you.

Friday, August 08, 2008


I'm not sure i've much to say - it's late and I should be getting ready for bed - but it's 08.08.08 and I thought i should mark the occasion. Oddly, TP is due in 87 days, shame it wasn't 88.

I made Mr G a gorgeous supper from my new cookbook. It's a fab book. I cooked Pan fried Sea Bass with pitta, labneh, tomato and preserved lemon and then made some strawberry ice cream -a recipe from one of last week's newspapers. Both were delicious.

I also visited my friend with her 3 week old IVF twins today. They're teeny tiny - like little chickens. She seems to be coping ok.

Mr G is moaning at me to stop typing so i'll blog something more interesting over the weekend.