Just a quick one

I'm about to go to bed, having had one of just three evenings spent without a fussy baby sleeping on me since Kitty Mabel arrived in our lives.

I'd moan, but this isn't the place for that. I'm surrounded by ladies struggling to have their babies so i'm well aware of how lucky we are to have our second miracle safe and sound - fussy or not.

One friend - only 35 - has had 3 failed IVF's. She found out over the weekend that her FSH has shot up to 25 since the summer. This is probably down to an operation to remove endomet.riosis that took off part of one of her ovaries. She's in shock and mourning this loss. She had not been told this was a risk of having that procedure.

Another friend told me she's just had her second miscarriage in the last few months. That stinks too. She's surrounded by reproducing mothers so must be hurting. She's very private.

A third has just lost her pregnancy after her baby was found to be sick.

I'm immensely lucky to be where I am and i'm not about to forget that.

I turned 42 last Friday. On the eve of my 39th birthday I was about to start IVF4. That cycle ended a few days later when I was told i'd never have children and to give up. If anyone had told me then that i'd be the mother of not one but two babies by the time I was 42, i would have told them where to go. I would never have believed it. Mothering two is extremely tough but I have not lost sight of where i've come from.

Thank you G-d for my blessings and thank you all out there for being there for my ride so far.

NIght night x