Just to say - which I should've mentioned in my last post.

We chose to have yesterday's blessing on 14th February as it was the anniversary of the day our little boy - and his co-embryo - were transferred into my safe care. It's a day i'll never forget and seemed a good day to celebrate.

Mr G said he spent last Valentine's Day watching a man (fantastic IVF Dr) with his hands up my bits and spent this year's Valentine's watching another male (a v little one) mauling my bo.soms. Maybe next year he (Mr G) will get a look in.

I hope you all had a good Valentine's. It's not a day i'm that fond of. I hated it as a single bird and feel it hugely commercial and a bit pointless now as you should spread the lerrrrve all the time and not just once a year. Now it's become a tiny bit more special in my book. Mr G and I had a lovely dinner out but talked mostly about Barnaby and gushed over a new photo Mr G had taken on his phone. Here's a pic from yesterday

Not great of me but then i'm not who the crowds came to see. Barnaby loves my dress - all that black and white has him mesmerised.

Quick update

I'll make this quick as i need to get to bed.

Barney went to bed at 7pm and will be up again any time from 10.30 til 12. Mr G will feed him with some of my expressed breast milk (I feel more and more like a cow) whilst I grab some sleep. When B next wakes - some time between 2 and 3am - Mr G will wake me up and i'll take over. I'll feed him and then sleep in the day bed next to his cot until morning. He'll most likely wake a couple more times and have one more feed - at 5ish - before morning. I've got him into the habit of sleeping on me from about 5.30am until morning. This has the benefit of allowing me a bit more sleep than if he was in his cot and continually waking. It's also one of my guilty pleasures. He should be in bed but I get to cuddle him and smell his gorgeous baby smell.

If I get to bed soon, i'll get some sleep in before the broken sleep happens. It's hard to drag myself to bed as this is the only time of the day I get to myself.

I love my little boy dearly but he sure is hard work. Every waking moment (mine) is spent thinking of him and anticipating the next need he'll have. He had a cold a couple of weeks ago which was so hard on him as he was so snuffly and couldn't breathe properly. That's when I started having him sleep on me - so he'd be upright and more able to breathe. This week he's been teething - which involves lots of drooling, fist sucking, fussy feeding and LOTS of crying. Little love is really suffering.

Tomorrow we're having a baby blessing in our synagogue. We've invited our extended family to join us for some sparkling wine and canapes afterwards. I'll post some pics. The words are really emotional - I just hope I hold it together.

There's so much to say but where to start? I love being a Mum but it's been a huge adjustment. He's not an easy baby but he has personality and is bright as a button.

I'll write again when i've more time and can actually put together something a bit more considered and interesting. xx