Valentines, drugs and other bits

I've been reading Hopeful Mother's wonderful entries and finding myself thinking about her later and smiling to myself. Apologies - if I was clever i'd set up a link direct to her site here, but I can't and i'm increasingly feeling a techno twit. Still you'll find her address to the right of the page anyway.

Her reaction to her BFP has been adorable and so well written. Obviously I read it with an element of "what about me?" but then don't we all but she's given us so much of herself on her blog that you get drawn in and can't help feeling elated that with her. It gives us hope and I'm just so pleased for her.

I'm trying to limit my IVF related activities. I know that once I really get started with this cycle it will - as last time - take over. I want to keep myself in the real world as long as I can. The number of IVF hours are creeping up though...I've joined a Mind and Body relaxation group run at my clinic. There are 11 of us girls in it plus the co-ordinator and two helpers. We're all in the infertility trap. Some have had a few goes at IUI and IVF but not all have gone through the IVF rollercoaster yet. Many are nervous of the journey and are in the group to help them get the courage up to go through the experience. The aim of the course is to teach us all life skills of relaxation so that we can better cope with treatment and with many stressful experiences. We're meant to keep the goings on in the group confidential, so that's about all i'll say, other than i'm really enjoying it so far and i'm sure it'll do me some good. Oh - one of the girls in the group is cycling the same time as me! A brilliant coincidence to share the experience!

I HAVE to report on my Valentines Day. I'm SO not a Val Day person - never really thought much of it, even more so now there's such pressure on all of us to perform on the day. Still, on our first married Val Day, my most gorgeous and wonderful husband pulled out all the stops. He evicted me for 2 hours at around 4.30pm. I sat in a cafe with wifi up the street and worked whilst waiting.

When I got the call to come home, he opened the door and there were candles EVERYWHERE, the table was laid in the kitchen with lovely red tulips in vases and, in our living room was a massage table and a lady waiting to give me a massage!! After the most fantastic massage, she left and he fed me a home cooked meal of my favourite food. I hate to sound cheesey but it was so lovely. Made me realise that what i've got - even without babies - is very wonderful.

Just so you know - I didnt' forget him...i had a box of mini breakfast pastries and jams etc delivered to his radio station (where he does a breakfast show) and I baked him some heart shaped cakes which I iced and left in a box for him when he got in from work. Yeah, yeah, i know it's the height of cheese, but we're newly weds!!!

Last bit of info for this post is the drugs. I ordered the drugs on Monday - and they cost TWICE AS MUCH as i'd been told and EVEN MORE THAN LAST TIME!!! I was horrified, but what are you going to do? My cycle buddy from the course got her drugs on the NHS - FOR FREE!!!! That is so unfair. Anyway, the big box showed up yesterday morning, with a huge needle kit and sharps bin this time. I've stacked them in one of our bathrooms. it's a horrible moment when you unpack the drugs as it brings it all home. I'm a little nervous of my Buserelin injections. I didn't do them last time and i'm not entirely sure how to get the drug out of the vial and into the me. I know it's a syringe, but i'm going to have to ring the clnic for advice.

Enough now. Time to get back to work. IVF is a HUGE distraction - much easier to vent for 20 mins about it on line than to concentrate on today's work!

xxxx