Saturday, March 06, 2010

Praying and hoping

I can never think of an exciting title for my posts. I sit a while before writing and generally come up with something really boring. This time i thought i'd write first and see if something sprang to mind. (Most likely i'll forget and you'll get no title at all!)

Thursday's scan (at 9 weeks and 1 day) brought tears to my eyes for the first time this cycle. The little one has limb buds, big head, shrinking yolk sac (thankfully) a beating heart and even moved when the Doc nudged with the scanning wand. I think the moving was what brought my emotions up.

I exclaimed "I can't believe we've got this far". As usual, he brought me right back down to earth by frowning and reminding me that it's still very early days and that I shouldn't count my chickens just yet.

After the scan, undies and jeans back on and parked on a chair in front of him, I asked him how may people's pregnancies go wrong at this stage. He asked me why I was focussing on the negative and Mr G said it was because I was a pessimist. I laughed, but actually, if the Dr's didn't keep reminding me of all the negatives then perhaps I wouldn't. Any woman pregnant in the normal way would just assume all's well after seeing a heartbeat at this stage. We're simply not allowed to relax and enjoy! I suppose it's also down to my personality and the constant checks and scans, but if the Dr's were a little more hopeful, maybe I would be.

Having said all of that, i don't want to get lulled into too much security before we get to 12 weeks and a nuchal scan. I'll book that if all's well after this week's scan.

I'm still amazed by where I find myself.

This week's otherwise been fairly uneventful. B had his MM.R. I didn't really want to do it as we have 2 au.tistic cousins in my family and although I don't believe that MM.R does cause au.tism, i do worry that if there's a propensity it could tip the balance. Single jabs is not an option as they've run out of one of them - mumps I think. Not immunising is also not an option. If we didn't live so centrally then i might risk it for a bit longer.

Anyway, it's done now and i'm praying he's ok. At 16 months seems ahead of his peers. He has lots of words and understands loads. I hope that continues.

So this week, i'm praying for both my little ones. My gorgeous boy and the little one i'm hoping will be our second miracle.


Soapchick said...

I think it's natural to be a pessimist after all that you have been through. I'm so happy to hear that you have made it to 9 weeks 1 day! Woohooo!! Praying hard that you make it to 12, then to 16, then to 20, then to 40!!!

Thalia said...

Really good news to hear all is well in there.

By the way, try not to worry re the MMR. Even the original Wakefield paper which has been so discredited didn't make the link between the vaccine and the disability, he made a link between the vaccine and a digestive issue, and between the digestive issue and the disease. So certainly not evidence for a direct link. And in any case there were less than 20 children examined, so all very dodgy.

Nonnie said...

Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy!

Bea said...

Yes, as Thalia said, and also the paper has been withdrawn and the doctor in question disciplined for whipping up undue fuss about it, so that should tell you something. It's hard not to worry about things, though.

Fingers crossed things continue well on all fronts!


Betty M said...

Hoping all still going well.