Feeling festive

Thank goodness its now feeling a bit more wintery outside! With daily high's of 4 and 5 degrees, the weather has finally realised that it's nearly midwinter. In fact, today IS midwinter's day!

I'm feeling festive too - Christmas shopping's done, work's almost complete and i've one more full day before DH and I set off for our romantic, solitary cottage. We went round the supermarket (Waitrose) choosing special foody treats to take with us. We'll do the main shop when we get there. We picked up the latest edition of the paper in which we write our IVF diary column whilst we were there.

The optimism remains. I've made an appointment to see our Dr on Jan 11th, and then we can down to business. I should have had the next visit from AF by then and we'll be on countdown. I'm a bit scared this time, as I know that it might not work and I know how it feels for it not to work. I'm going to register with the best clinic - which has a 6 - 12 week waiting list for an initial consultation. The success rates there are about 20% better than ours and I'll just feel safer with it as our fallback. We also have our first NHS consultation on 18th Jan. About time, but i'm not sure where that will lead us.

What is winding me up a bit is feeling a bit pushed into using chinese herbs. I'm quite happy to have acupuncture, but my acupunturist - who has loads of experience - is now pushing me into taking herbs. I know i'm a big girl and can say no, but she's really foisted them upon me. They're expensive, smelly, time consuming and they just remind me of my problems every day. I feel angry about it really. i just want some time off from stressing about all of this. Why can't she give something to DH to make his sperm move a bit faster...move at all! She says to keep on trying, but if there's no movement, what's the point?...

Now there I was saying how positive I feel! Well, actually I do really! I'm so looking forward to a week of doing nothing with DH. No phone, no internet, nowhere to be, no deadlines...what bliss! Must buy some books to take with me.

Maybe next year i'll be pg or even have a new baby for Christmas. How amazing would that be?! Not sure I believe it'll happen, but who knows...

Happy Christmas all and may 2007 be a fertile one for all who wish to be!

xx