Monday, November 05, 2007

Flipping body mucking me about - apologies long post

I'm sitting on the sofa in my gorgeous White Co.mpany pj's. They're all white, with a v long knee length top with lace on the cuffs and a round neck and loose trousers with lace on the ankles. I was feeling v glam until Mr G said that with my white robe over them I look (a) like someone from an asylum or (b) about to do judo. That took me down a peg or two.

I don't often sit around in my pj's but was struck down yesterday by some sort of stomach bug. I felt massively sick, achey and had terrible stomach cramps. It got worse last night. I got up in the night and was so dizzy that I felt it safer to drop to the floor. At least the room stopped spinning. I was ready just to curl up and die there when Mr G called out to ask where I was.

"On the floor" i told him. (Obviously) He leapt up to carry me back to bed. He then headed off to the bathroom. I got up again as I felt SO nauseous and then wasn't sure how i'd get back to bed. I stumbled back to bed, must have passed out and then came to feeling just as sick and crampy. I was actually scared and made Mr G leave a light on outside our room as that made me feel safer.

You can tell i don't get sick often as i'm really not v good at it! I've spent today in between bed and sofa. It feels like post transfer time - the only other time I lay around like this. I'm still feeling pretty sick but not so achey. Hope i'm back to normal tomorrow.

I was meant to meet my folks with Mr G for an early supper before they went to see a play at a really good local theatre that's on my doorstep. We've had to cancel that, which is a shame.

On the IF front. We decided we'd go ahead next month. I'm not sure I want Mr G injecting Me.nopur and i definitely don't want to wait. But, wouldn't you know it, my p.eriod has failed to deign me with its presence. It arrived on day 25 last month and rarely goes beyond day 28 (and then only really after a cycle) and we are, today, on day 29 and not a sign of it. If we'd been anywhere near each other at one of my fertile moments I might now be deluding myself with hope of pregnancy. Not a hope - although that doesn't stop the odd moment of hope that a miracle sperm has grown a tail and jet propelled itself into one of my ageing eggs. How sad and deluded.

Typically, there's a cut off for pre-Chr.istmas cycles. The blasted p.eriod must show up before Wednesday. Aren't bodies (and our minds that probably cause this problem) the most annoying things.

F'ing new clinic has just billed us for more than £1000 and we've had nothing really done yet! I can tell we're not going to stay friends forever.

Just had to fill you in on two chats I had with IVF girls with babies. One managed hers on her 6th go and the other, on her 10th. Both had been told they had premature ovarian failure and one had an FSH of 22 (22!) at one point although it was 11 on her successful cycle - when she managed to produce just one egg. Both said don't give up. The one who managed it on her 10th go had success eventually with Dr Sher in NY. She's english and flew there 3 times to his clinic.

I'm sure it can be done if you have enough goes, but you just can't be sure, so who's willing to put themselves through this that many times? The chats were great though at a time I was feeling v bleak. I'm not going to go all rosey tinted glasses about it, but it inspires me to try at least a couple more goes.


JJ said...

Eww, I hate stomach bugs...hope you are feeling better! Those PJs sound super comfy!

Body/Mind connection can be a pain in the rear-esp when you are waiting for something to get going!! Hope AF does show so you can get the show on the road=)

Bea said...

Get well and, ah, have a period soon! Seems like a contradiction.

As for the hope stories - they are a double-edged sword. You want to feel comfortable drawing the line, knowing you gave it a good shot, but it does show that those who choose to continue are not deluding themselves.