Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Just a quick one as it's late

...i've worked tonight and am working tomorrow so must get to bed.

Monday's beta was not quite double at 2359 and today's was again, almost but not quite double at 4584. As they are consistent and when plugged into a clever graph on which i tried to link up but which hasn't worked.

The slight concern I have is that my progesterone is falling. 175 then 161 and today, 131. The nurses tell me not to be concerned but, obviously, I am. Not sure what to take from that. I'm busily shooting up with but it's an uphill battle.

Aside from that I'm doing ok. I must think to myself "Oh my goodness, I'm pregna.nt!" about,errrrrm, 20,000 times a day.

It's SUCH a novelty. I know i've done it before, but this is somehow different. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because i'm the luckiest girl in the world to have my little boy and i'm not sure i've any more luck due. (I so hope I am) I'm well aware this could vanish in a heartbeat - or lack of one - but for now, i'm allowing myself moments of enjoying the thought that, like normal fertile folk, i've got a little boy and a potential second one in my belly. I can't quite believe it but also can't quite let myself go with it as that'd open me up to the huge fall if (when?) this goes south.

I've met a new IF friend. We kept bumping into each other at the clinic and clicked right away. I was with B and, embarrassed and sensitive to being the lady with a baby at the IF clinic felt the need to announce he was the result of my 5th IV.F AND at that clinic.

She was on her 5th IV.F and had, for the first time got a decentish beta. However, her scores were at times not doubling and weren't huge. Sadly, her pregnancy turned out to be ectopic. I so felt for her and wanted to let her have my number to talk but felt odd about it. I happened to stalk her out from her messages on an IF message board site and she got back to me straight away. We've become friendly and she was able to lend me some drugs yesterday when my pharmacy let me down. She even offered to drive them round at 10pm. I didn't take her up on that but popped over to see her today and met her Mum. She's a sweetie and i'm immensely grateful that people like her are about. I hate IF but it's amazing how there's a camaraderie in all being in this together. I'm sure she'll get there, she's SO close.

Better get to bed now.

Thanks to those that have popped by to congratulate.



Betty M said...

Glad things are still going well. Try not to angst about the prog. Levels - sometimes I think it would be easier if they didn't test so much!

Kath said...

Dear Portia, I just "met" you yesterday -- popped over from LFCA -- and did a lot of reading on your back story. I'm so happy about your recent news, and keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you. And yes, the camaraderie among the IF crowd -- in bloglandia and in person -- can be such an incredible comfort. Thinking of you and sending you my best wishes.

Bea said...

Hope everything is still going well! Hard not to worry about those numbers not going in the right direction, even when people who should know do keep assuring you it's all within normal ranges. Glad you're able to stay zen for now. When's your first scan?