Tuesday, October 31, 2006

all seemed too calm...

Thought I was dealing with this all v well. Taking every day with a deep, controlled breath and managing relative calm.

Yesterday afternoon, it was very clear that there's a lot going on inside - no real surprise.

I'd mistakenly sent an email to a group instead of one person and was mortified. I got that panicky cold sweat feeling all over when I realised what had happened. Nothing I could do except get worked up and i'm trying so hard to be calm at the moment! MDB wasn't remotely sympathetic. He'd been grumpy all day, which hadn't helped either - so difficult to be around.

We sat down to watch a tv programme we'd taped (The Royle Family) from the night before. I thought it would calm me down but e mails kept bouncing in from the unintended recipients, making it a whole lot worse! The programmed - a comedy - was actually really sad and it made me teary. The teariness turned into full blown sobbing within minutes. MDB was (finally) sympathetic and made soothing noises whilst I let all the tension go. I'm so flipppin' scared to get stressed or do anything that might affect the embryos and have no idea what's going on in there. I hate this!

Still feeling low today - not helped by my having sprinted to rescue MDB's car from being towed away this morning and then panicking about the adrenalin burst that all caused! I remembered it whilst I was in the shower this morning and had to pull on clothes and run out to find the tow lorry pulling up next to it! Gave the men in the lorry a little smile and a wave before I got in the car to move it.

This black mood has come from nowhere. I felt ok until now. I'm sure it will lift. Just one of those things....xx

2 comments:

andi said...

Hello there - I have just found your blog. And was wondering how you were going? Cheers Andi

andi said...

Hello there - I have just found your blog. And was wondering how you were going? Cheers Andi