Monday, December 17, 2007

Food for thought

Well, what a week its been. My head's whirling with it all.

I've managed to stay relatively "up" after last week's disappointment. I keep waiting for the come down I seem to be ok DESPITE the unrelenting frenzy surrounding us as people spend, spend spend like they'll never be able to buy anything ever again. I'm not sure i've ever been so bemused by the festive rush.

We had our appt today with the clinic that scared us off last time. The Dr we saw was ready and waiting for us and totally charming. He'd clearly read our file inside out and had loads to say about what he saw. He took us at great length through all that they'd do to (a) maximise our chances of producing decent embryos and (b) to then improve the possibility of the embryo(s) implanting. It all got fairly complicated but we just about followed.

My immune tests are pretty normal but with a few slightly elevated responses. On their own the responses would be nothing to concern, but collectively, they may need to treat me for them. The treatment would involved ster.oids, Hep.arin and the infamous IV.Ig. He didn't dwell on that as it's a long way off.

He also thought the cancelled cycle had something to do with the cyst and perhaps the different drug regime. He wants me to take a month to recover from the last cycle and then we can start again next month. The last fiasco has made me suspicious. They told me they didn't want us to waste our money and now this clinic want to treat us, i harbour suspicions that they're just after our money! Never satisfied, but I suppose my reaction's only natural. Who do you trust?!!

I'll have a Hyst.eroscopy mid-cycle next month and, if my horm.one tests (FSH, LH, Oestradiol and Prolactin) check out ok, we'll start IV.F 4.5 from the end of Jan. If my horm.ones have shot up then we'll have to wait until they come down. Soooooooo, we are, once again, at the mercy of my body and another bunch of men and women in scrubs. We'd like to fit in a holiday at some point, but that's looking less and less likely until we get this cycle done.

Oh, one last news item. I applied for a really exciting job a couple of weeks ago as a cookery writer on one of the greatest food mags. Didn't really give it much thought. Someone had sent me the job ad, so i emailed off my CV. A week later I got called to interview and today they called me back with 2 others for a final interview! It's a job i'd have cut my leg off for not so long ago. Now i'm in turmoil over it. What if I get it?! How can take a job when I know i'm about to do IV.F? Mr G told me to shut up worrying as I don't actually have the job yet. I suppose he's right, but what if?!!

This is all so unfair - if I do get offered the job i'd effectively have to choose between that or IVF. I can't have both. If I was trying naturally, no one would even need to know about it. I wouldn't have to keep running off for blood tests and scans. I wouldn't have to worry that the stress of a new job might ruin my chances of success. Anyway, I don't actually have the job yet. I'll do the worrying if they offer it to me. it just doesn't seem fair. Men don't have these issues.

Time to go to bed.

9 comments:

My Reality said...

Congrats on getting so close to your dream job. Perhaps if it is offered to you, you could inform them that there are a few medical appointments you will be going through in the upcoming weeks, and although there isn't a 'serious' medical condition, you do need to tend to them. Then, if you are hired with that condition, you could have the perfect job and still do another cycle.

Bea said...

Take the job. I think you'll be happier in the long run if you try to get on with life in spite of infertility, as much as possible. It's not like you've just started trying and you're *sure* you're going to be surprise! pregnant next month - you have a history which suggests a more cautious approach to the odds, and besides, they can't discriminate based on that.

MR has a good suggestion about giving them the head's up before you start about some initial medical issues, but I see no need to go into more detail.

As for the clinic - it's hard to know who to trust when opinions vary. In the end, none of them have a crystal ball, and you just have to try what you're willing to try.

Bea

Waiting Amy said...

I too, say go for it about the job. You can't stop living because of IF. I also don't see any reason you can't do both. You could inform them ahead of time about the potential for some medical appointments, but honestly I don't even know that it is necessary. The reality is that people take new jobs and have things come up. This is not necessarily an ongoing chronic reason for being unavailable. Someone needing work up for diabetes or who needs surgery for deviated septum would be given time off -- why not you?

Of course, its easy for me to say, less easy to do always. Hoping you find what you're looking for and wishing you lots of luck. And thanks for your continued support, it means a lot.

andi said...

I am with the girls! I just started a new job (on the opposite side of the world with no husband) and have done a cycle (well - the bloods and scans part) - and no one at my work was (so far) the wiser. It did help a lot that clinic opened at 7am - and was only 10 min walk to work.
And as you say - if you were doing it without AI - it would just be one of those things - cycle of life. Blitz em with your charm and obvious skills my dear!!

Almamay said...

I hope you get the job and if you do I'd say take it. You can tell them that it was a holiday booked ages ago or you've been on the waiting list for a girlie op and your number came up. You can juggle it and we can help.

Ms. P said...

I agree. Go for the job if offered and just let them know there are a few things that you must tend to first. Very often employers are cool with these things. I think it's great that this clinic is gung-ho and hopeful. It sounds like they have reason to be. I know there are docs out there who might only be in it for the money. But clinics are also concerned with their success rates and many won't take those they don't think will do well, regardless of any financial gain. I think it's a great sign! And good luck with the job!

Knock Me Up said...

It looks like we could possibly be cycle buddies for IVF4.5 at the end of January. I hope your numbers come back and the hysteroscopy goes well -- I just had one last week and all looked fine. I sort of agree with the doc you just spoke to that the cyst could have had some negative interaction with this past cycle -- I hate cysts.
As for the job, I think you should take it if it's offered but just tell them that during the first month you already have some obligations that you must honor, etc. I've started a new job and had a vacation scheduled in the first 6 weeks and they let me do it b/c I told them when they offered that I had the conflict. See if you can finagle it around to work for you. That's just my 2 cents worth. Take care.

Carrie said...

I'm sorry you have to make a (possible) choice between the job and treatment. That's a really tough call. I wish this whole deal was a little easier.

Thalia said...

i agree with the others, take the job if it's offered, you never know how you can juggle things until you do.

When I did a practice cycle at the big expensive clinic (i think it's the same one?), I discovered that if you get there early enough, it's pretty scheduled. Arrive at 7 and sign in, and youll be seen soon after 8 (still think it's ridiculous they won't give appointments in the morning, but there you go). So as long as your new office is relatively central, you could be at work by 9, and since the clinic isn't far from you, it shouldn't be too tiring - also, you can sign in at 7 and then bugger off to starbucks since you know they won't see you til 8 at the earliest.