Wednesday, December 12, 2007

What would I do without you girls?

I'm just rushing out to work, but I couldn't go without a quick update.

Thank you girls so much for all your support. Yesterday I cried when I read all your kind words. Today, I'm stronger. I feel so lucky to be part of such a huge network - a virtual group hug.!

Since Monday's horrors Mr G and I have talked - a lot. We're just not ready to give up. We spoke to our lovely ex-Doc - (Dr Big Hair) and he thinks the new clinic f'd up. The cyst could have been messing with my hormones AND the letro.zole can suppress. He still thinks we've a few goes in us.

I'm not going to get my hopes up - I KNOW our chances are slim, but i've got to give it a couple more shots. We're going to get another view from the top results/bad service clinic on Monday and then we'll decide what next. If that clinic feel it's game over, we'll think long and hard about stuff.

Mr G's v anti egg don.ation but may come around. I'm not sure what I think.

One observation that has come out of the talking i've been doing over the last few days:

Everyone (who's not in the IF club) says how brave I am for going through all of this. I've always said i'm not brave. I'm not. It's just something i've got to do! How can I not? The brave bit is having the courage to give all of this up and move on to DE or adoption. That's brave. I'm just not strong enough to do that yet. I hope that if (and when) the time comes i'll find the courage from somewhere.

Thank you all again. I really, really appreciate all of you so very much

If you get a chance, go give some support to Becks (at One Miracle Needed - i'd do a link but i'm a techno-twit) she's having a wobbly 2WW

xx

10 comments:

Marcy "meg" said...

I got to your blog from Becks... I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about everything.

chicklet said...

I got here via Becks too and I think it's just so great to have all these awesome people out here to give support where it is so duly needed. Good luck with the end of year pity party - make it a good one. You so deserve it after all this crap.

Ms. P said...

For once I agree with the non-IFers who believe that you are very brave. You are. Just because it's "what you have to do" does not make you any less courageous. I admire your resilience, your finger to those "experts" who are such downers, and your willingness to keep on hoping. You've got lots of reason to hope in my opinion. I will keep doing it with you!

My Reality said...

It isn't over yet.

Carrie said...

I'm so pleased that the doctor has given you a more positive outlook. It is all so very hard but as long as there is hope then I think it is worth trying.
You are brave. It is brave to try.

Carrie said...

I'm so pleased that the doctor has given you a more positive outlook. It is all so very hard but as long as there is hope then I think it is worth trying.
You are brave. It is brave to try.

Bea said...

I think it's brave just to keep moving forward - whatever the path. But I know what you mean. Sometimes you look at a path and you know it would take just a bit more courage than you've got. And you probably don't *feel* brave after the last few weeks. But you're still standing, and that's a lot.

Bea

CAM said...

Oh crap...sorry I didn't check in with you earlier. I am sorry about the news from the other doc. But, if you feel that you aren't ready to give up, than don't! If you have a positive attitude toward going into another cycle than just do it.
I agree with you on the 'brave' issue. Many people say that to me too - but what choice do we have? This is just a bag of crap that life has thrown at us and we have to figure out a way to cope. We are all doing the best we can with what we have to deal with.
Keep yourself smiling and know that it will work out somehow...someway...
:)

Knock Me Up said...

I agree, the brave part is when we have to decide to stop. That will be the hardest most painful thing I think I will ever have to go through.

I'm sorry I was off-line for a few days so missed your news of cancelation. I'm so sorry -- I just dealt with the same thing this past try so I'm totally feeling you. It is a horribly disorenting and disappointing thing to have happen.

Take care and I agree -- no holidays are good holidays and I'm just ignoring them all this year. Come on 2008.

Kami said...

"The brave bit is having the courage to give all of this up and move on to DE or adoption. That's brave. I'm just not strong enough to do that yet.

Although there may be some truth there, I think it is also true that eventually - when you feel like your better options are exhausted - the other options start to look better.

I hope you get good/hopeful news at the other clinic.