Friday, January 15, 2010

Can you be 'good' at IV.F?

We've been discussing whether or not we'd go again. (If this cycle fails that is)

There's every possibility. Mr G said i was 'good' at IVF. That it suited me. He said I like a structure and a project, a bit of planning, research and organisation.

I think what he saw was my taking control. IF makes you lose control over your life. I've been used (as most of us are) to being in charge of my destiny - as far as you can be. Having it taken out of your hands is petrifying. Reclaiming control - through finding the best clinic, researching everything to the nth degree and speaking to everyone I could about it made me feel back on top of things again.

Nonetheless, it made me think. Can anyone be better or worse at this? Does it suit some more than others? Definitely the result is irrelevant to how able you are to cope with it.

Am still hanging out at home. Will take it a bit easy until the weekend's over. I figure that if this embryo wants to stick around it will have made its mind up by then. After that it's just a matter of taking care of myself.

I've discovered i'm a useless blogger. I was trying to see how I did last time and my blog entries are RUBBISH! I've no idea how i was feeling for much of the 2WW. For the first two cycles i recorded every niggle and cramp but i'd obviously got over all of that by then. If anyone was checking out my history for some clues of how it feels to be pg or of how i was coping it just isn't there!

For the record, i feel pretty normal. The odd lower back cramp but nothing else except stressy moments.

I do seem to be having a reaction to the Rito.drine - a drug to stop muscle spasm of the uterus. It makes me jittery and anxious - the last thing i need right now. I can stop if necessary and may well do if it doesn't improve. No mention of that in my record of last time. Also no mention of which steroids I was on last time. I'm sure they were different. Again, never mind. Doesn't make much difference. They've decided no IVI.g for me this time and no Ges.tone. That may change today when I get the results of this morning's Prog test. Of course, i'm worrying that i'm NOT on those now as they worked last time!

For now, i'll keep on drinking the water, lying low and chilling. Just got to take B for his jabs this afternoon. Poor little lamb's going to HATE it : (

1 comment:

Bea said...

There's an upside to keeping good records, that's for sure. There's also a downside in that most of this tends to be luck and each cycle/pregnancy can be so different, so you can get led astray by expecting it to be the same.

In answer to your original question, though, yes, I think IVF does suit some personality types better than others. Same for other paths including lower-tech treatments, adoption, child-free. It doesn't make a difference on the outcome of an individual cycle, but I would guess that it made a difference as to how many cycles you're prepared to do.

I do also think you can learn to cope even if you don't "naturally" cope well in that sort of situation, if you feel motivated enough to do so. But yes, some people will find it easier to deal with than others, which isn't to say they will find it *easy* to deal with.