Heard from the embryologists

My hormones must've been fine. I took a call during Rock-a-bye (music class) to hear they were thawing our embryo right then. They'd call me back within the hour. I went back to chasing a toddler more interested in the radiators and buggies parked around the walls than in the lady at the front.

I took the second call whilst walking in our (frosty, freezing) local park with Barney, a local Mum friend and her little boy.

Our 4 cell embryo defrosted ok, but they want to hold off on transfer until they've seen if it continues splitting. We'll know tomorrow what the score is.

I had tears in my eyes when the embryologist told me the news. Darn. And there I was thinking i was pulling off the world's first emotionally detached cycle. They'll let us know tomorrow if it's lasted the night and if we're to go in for transfer.

Mr G said (and he's right) that this feels like we're testing the water for another fresh cycle. It does feel like i'm observing all the girls at the clinic going through their cycles. He seemed open to more fresh cycles. Am I? I think so, but part of me feels we should quit whilst we're ahead. We're a bit old for all of this.

I'm very aware of my age - even though I don't feel it especially. When they do your blood test they ask you your date of birth. I used to announce mine loud and proud, but this time I whisper it. I don't hear any other children of the 60's. The girls sitting beside me in the queue are all of 70's. Even those born in the early 70's are all pushing 40 and i'm well past that milestone.

Anyway, B's asleep and I need to have a lie down. Been going to bed too late and am feeling it. I've also got cooking lessons to plan. Wonder what tomorrow will bring for that microscopic ball of cells.