Friday, April 13, 2007

When would be the right time?

Last night, my brother called me for the third night running from Australia. I'd thought he was calling to commiserate. As he was calling late at night, when i was at my most tired and emotional, I hadn't picked up. I texted the night before to say "thanks but i'm too sad, lets speak at the weekend".

Anyway, last night he texted to say he'd be calling and could I please pick up. I said to Mr G "I bet they're having another baby. Why else would he be so keen to speak to me? What a bad time to be telling me!". Mr G said "When would be the right time?" I agreed. When you've an infertile sibling when would be the time to tell her you're having yet another child?

Well, i picked up and sure enough, he told me No 3 is due in November. My sis in law is not yet 3 months pg, so early days. She's pushing 40 and its taken a year to conceive this time. I'm pleased for them and managed to say all the right things. They'd hoped this cycle would work so that we could all be pg together, but i'd stuffed up that plan! He was so scared to tell me. Got off the phone and Mr G rushed in to hold me as he knew there'd be a few tears. There were. But not too many. After all, i'll have a new niece or nephew...

Called my mum this morning - who's known for 2 weeks and was sick with worry over it. She was really emotional, but I said "it's ok", that i'm pleased and a bit sad. She was sick with worry over how i'd be and was so pleased with how I reacted. She thought me very brave.

I'm tired of being brave. I want to be the one ringing round with my good news.

Oh, also found out about another adoption process yesterday. You get checked out as usual here and then post your details on an internet notice board in the US. The birth parent (how else do you describe someone giving up their child?) choose you from the board. A couple known to my friend were on it 2 weeks when they were chosen and adopted a new born boy - they were at the birth! Not saying that's for me, but it's another option.



Baby Blues said...

Mr. G is right, it's never the right time to hear pregnancy announcements. It's never easy. You're lucky to have Mr. G beside you during those times.

I'm also tired of being brave. Because I'm not. I'm not that strong. I wish I was, but I'm weak and weary too.

Our day will come. Somehow we will find our path, either through ART or adoption. You and Mr. G will be wonderful parents.

Thalia said...

I think some members of the adoption triad prefer 'first mother'. After all, it's pre-birth that most of the discussions happen!

It's always tough dealing with family pregnancies, isn't it? I had such a hard time with my nephew's birth, he arrived 10 months after our weddding and I jsut felt that he should have been our baby...

Sounds like you are coping amazingly well.

My Reality said...

I don't think there ever is a right time to hear an announcement like this. I am glad you handled it ok - it shows strength in character.

Mony said...

Both my sister in laws announced pregnancies within weeks of each other. It's very hard, even when you love everyone involved.

andi said...

It is never a good time - your hubby is right. My poor sister waited until she was 5 MONTHS with her fourth - cause she was worried about upsetting me. In fact - in the end my mum had to tell me. I can't tell you how many tears I cried. Life - it dishes out doesn't it.

How was your weekend - weather is divine isn't it.

Becks said...

I had similar news a couple of weeks ago from one of my best friends, it was 2 days into my first IVF cycle and it floored me. Its a horrible feeling but you sound like you've done really well.
I live in the uk too and would be really interested in the adoption website you mention, would you be able to email me the details? My email is

Thanks very much