Monday, February 04, 2008

All pretty quiet on the ovarian front

So. Day 6 of the most monitored week of my (un)reproductive life. Yesterday, i was up at 8am. At blood let lab by 8.50am and sitting in a cafe drinking tea and waiting for Mr G by 9.15. We had a gorgeous brekkie at Peter Gordon's restaurant Providores. It started badly when a Yummy Mummy (YM) on the next door table with a less-than-two year old announced to the waiter that she was pregnant and starving and HAD to have some food immediately. Having just spent my first waking hour in IF world, my heart sunk. She then proceeded to chat with another YM on a neighbouring table bonding over their various designer clad kiddies.

After a trip round the farmer's market to buy some veggies on my mission to eat healthily, we went to a big Dept store. We have money to spend there after our wedding that we never got around to spending. We wanted to wait until we had a new home, but with IF and lack of funds we haven't actually managed to get that new home yet. It's just one more thing that's on hold whilst we endure this limbo state we're in. We decided maybe we should just spend the money on something nice to cheer us up.

Anyway, during a pre-shop fortifying cup of peppermint tea the clinic called and said I had to inject Cetr.otide IMMEDIATELY. Obviously i didn't have any on my person and so we had to head home. Shopping clearly not meant to be!

Today I had a scan as well as my blood let. THREE flipping follicles. THREE! All this monitoring and rushing around and I still can't stump up more than previous best efforts. Crap. I know i've been at this stage before and gone on to a 2 embie transfer, but i just kind of hoped that this new clinic would drum up more follicular recruits. I left the clinic feeling really low. Walked around a bit - in the cold but sunny London morning - and then headed home.

I was only meant to be writing and cooking today so had a bit of an aimless one. When the clinic called they needed an immediate injection of a drug I didn't have. Darn. Had to rush up there to buy more stocks and sit and inject in the clinic's reception room. I've stabbed so many needles in my stomach already it's starting to sting as it goes in. Having said that, i've more or less stopped worrying about the needles. On Friday, I was so keen to use up ALL my valuable Pure.gon, i used no less than 4 seperate needles in getting it all out AND used two more for the Meriona.l! No wonder i'm sore!

I'm now on (inject as soon as awake at 6.30am), 75mg aspirin and a steroid I can't remember the name of with my glass of milk before I set off for my bloods. I then inject late afternoon or evening with whatever cocktail of drugs i'm on that day PLUS another shot of Clex.ane (heparin) AND I pop a Clomid or two. It's madness!

Still, I do feel looked after and the nurses are v lovely. I only wonder if - based on the fact that I have the same total (so far) with this cycle as i've had every time before - it's all worth it...
I also need a moan about how this is ruining my life again. I'd just got back into working. I'm getting work from a few different cooking schools and feeling on the right track again. I have absolutely no idea if I'm going to be able to fulfill work commitments for the next two or three weeks. I don't know whether to cancel now or wait and see. I don't want to let anyone down. It's SO hard and SO f'ing annoying. However steps forward I take each cycle takes me so far back. I just hope this one works...

Oh - was reading my last post. What I didn't make clear was that I was actually bleeding for four days before AF showed up in full force. I wasn't just turning up in the hope that my period had happened!

I have lots more moaning to do, but I think i'll leave it there. Only so much I can inflict upon you! xx


Almamay said...

What a day. I'm exhausted reading about your regime. Keep up the good work. Keep strong and don't worry about moaning, this is what we are here for.

My Reality said...

I will be curious to hear how the clomid and FSH work together. It is one of the protocols we had looked into with my RE because of my poor response.

I wish you lots of luck for this cycle.

soapchick said...

I'm sorry you are feeling blue and you only have 3 follicles. I'm praying that some more pop up in the coming days.

Carrie said...

Please feel free to vent here. You never come across as moaning.

I'm sorry you had such a dreadful day. The three follies must be disappointing although, and I'm sure you don't need to hear this, the quality is what matters, three could be plenty. Easy to say I know. Far more difficult to accept especially when you are jumping through all these hoops this cycle.
It does take over our lives. It is so very difficult xx

tryingin2007 said...

my best cycle gave me only 4 follicles (and that's after serious hardcore stims.) 3 could be totally acceptable so please don't lose hope. 3 follicles can mean 3 brilliant eggs! I'm so hoping for 3 brilliant eggs for you!

Bea said...

Not exactly a smooth ride... hope it gets better from here on in.

I know you don't want to let people down, but I really think it's ok to make this cycle a priority. It's not a nose job, and it won't take too much time out of your schedule (just all the stress!).