Just waiting...

I feel a little like these folk...
Fat and full and doing a lot of hanging around, in the waiting room at my clinic and in between tests at home. I'm still waiting to see when they'll trigger me.

Had 2 blood tests and 2 scans (8.30am and 2.30pm) yesterday. The big man head of my clinic wanted to scan me himself to decide when to trigger. I was so excited to meet him - sad really. It was like meeting G-d...sort of. He has become this mystical figure. The miracle maker. I know he's not going to be able to change nature and i KNOW my chances are still slim, but he has my hopes up for the first cycle since my first.

I've still only 3 lead follicles and several that are moving so slowly they might catch up sometime next Christmas. The decision is how long to give the mini ones to see if they can join the fertilisation party.

I was at home baking cup cakes (choc and cherry) for my Auntie when they called yesterday. In my hurry to inject my meds and rush back to the clinic for scan two i left my phone at home. I had to go straight to my acupuncture appt without it so the clinic called Mr G with my instructions. He was petrified he'd get it wrong, he made them tell him twice and wrote it all down word for word. The nurse said lots of hubbies are nervous of any message taking.

They decided to let me cook another day and to ask me to go back today. I've had 2 bloods and 2 scans already today (it's still not yet 3pm) and i'm now home waiting to see if we're going to trigger today. Still only really the 3 mamooth black blobs and a score of eeensy weensy ones. I'm drinking water for England and as much protein and milk as I can manage. I've actually started to lok forward to my hot milk (skinny of course but with sugar free vanilla syrup) that i now order in in coffee bars. The baristas look at me like i'm totally mad. Sta.rbucks are reasonably obliging. In the very French patisserie they raise their snooty eyebrows so high they almost disappear over their heads. The cost varies hugely. £2.40 in the 'bucks and only £1.00 in Cos.ta. Should really just make it myself.

Right. Time to get outside. It is BEAUTIFUL outside today. Really warm sunshine. Makes me smile and feel good inside just to be out there in it. I'm feeling v looked after and am in that high place of actually DOING something about our IF. I know the worst is yet to come especially since all this activity has taken me to such a peak of anticipation. At the end of the day, i still think most of this is about luck. If the right egg is on its way out then we'll get lucky. If not, we won't. All the drugs in the world aren't going to change that. It's just if the right egg can be persuaded to fertilise nicely AND stick around...that's what i'm hoping this lot will do for me.

Just spoke to the clinic. I'm triggering tonight. ER first thing Monday morning. A whole day off from needles tomorrow - yay!! Fingers, toes and eyes crossed for at least those three eggies to come out strong and ready to play nicely with Mr G's boys....
xx