Hiding

I'm sorry i've been awol for nearly 2 weeks.

I haven't really felt much like being in touch with anyone lately.

I've actually started treatment at the new clinic. It was fairly traumatic getting to that point - mostly created by me - and, after the last false start, i haven't felt much like sharing. I was waiting for day one of this cycle for AGES. Perhaps because of the hysteroscopy a week earlier, my period arrived in stages. I was spotting more and more heavily from last Sat until Tuesday. It was heavy enough for me to think AF had pitched up, but didn't feel as heavy as usual. I assumed the op had cleaned me out and there wasn't much left to come out.

Not wanting to miss CD1 and risk losing this month, I went to the clinic for daily blood tests and a couple of scans from Sunday to Wednesday. Monday's scan showed I was still pre-period. The bloods said the same. I was feeling a total eejit! The nurses told me that it's not uncommon to get confused after a hyst'y. I was feeling stupid and not sleeping with the anxiety of it all. Anyway, AF showed up good and proper on Tues night and on Wed, i had the full day one bloods - again. They called on Wed night to say i was good to go! Thank goodness.

Since then, its been early starts - to get there at the front of the 7.30am blood test queue and then the front of the 8am scan queue. It's one series of queues at this clinic. I'm exhausted from lack of sleep and early rising. Still, i'm pleased to actually be jamming needles in my belly again. I started on 600mg of Pur.egon and, after a couple of days they've moved me on to 300mg Pure.gon, 300mg Meri.onal (or rather Menopur as that's what I have at home) plus 1 clomid tablet. What a lot of drugs!

They take blood each day and the Dr reviews your hormone levels before prescribing your dose. It's a hassle, but you feel so thoroughly monitored. I'm not sure I could go back to a usual Lon.don clinic after this. I hope i won't have to. (Note - that last comment is said with huge lack of belief and feeling of great fraudery - i know i made that up but i quite like fraudery as a word).

I need to go lie down and 'do a relax' (as Mr G calls it) to try to help this process, so i'll cut this update short. I can also smell the honey and thyme roasted veggies burning, so i must rescue them!

I cancelled a Christening we were meant to go to today at 2pm and a 40th tonight. It feels selfish and antisocial but Mr G and I have been working so hard we just don't feel like being with people. The Christening is one step too far really. The parents waited 5 long years - of miscarriages, IVF and a surprise pregnancy - for their beautiful angel child, so they understand where Mr G and I are. Still, I do feel a bit guilty not being there to share their joy. Hope it doesn't count against me on some register of good/bad deeds...

We've got A.tonement to watch tonight and some halibut to eat with the veggies. All good.

I've been really busy with work - but more of that another time.