Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Grey day

Woke up in the early hours. MDB gets up at 5 to go to work and I couldn't tell if he was there or not. Put an arm out and was glad to feel he was. Remembered what happened yesterday and my heart sank...MDB held me for a bit but had to go. I lay there trying to sleep for an hour, but everything kept running through my mind and at 6am, I got up and made myself a cup of tea and used the HPT MDB brought home yesterday. First time i've ever used one! It was, not surprisingly negative, but just underlines that this run is over.

Went to work at my desk and immersed myself in that for a couple of hours until my Mum rang me at 8. Shed a few tears and got some mummy love. She thinks i've been really brave. I'm not so sure. It's more a matter of just keeping going. MDB is my rock - couldn't do this without him - in more ways than one!

It was such a grey day. I txtd my close friends to update them so I don't get a raft of msgs on Friday asking for the score. Got back a heap of gorgeous msgs. What is life without your girlyfriends?! MDB's mum rang to see how I was and was SO sweet.

Went to visit a friend in a nearby hospital. She's been really down, so I picked up Starbucks - my first in WEEKS - a muffin and a copy of Heat (great gossip mag for those overseas) and sat with her. Left her feeling a whole lot better.

MDB was home from work - he presents a morning show - by the time I got home, but was asleep. Felt secure just knowing he was home. Worked all afternoon with intermittent phone calls from my gorgeous mates.

One friend (a v close one) is due to have her baby in 2 weeks and is really conscious that i might be feeling it. I don't really, but am just a bit raw today and probably for a few days. I'll be v happy for her when her little one (her third) arrives. Just as i'm over the moon for Heather - HOW great is that?! - one step closer to Desperately finding baby!

I made another appt with our Dr. We'll sit down with him and discuss what next in 2 weeks time. He'll want us to wait at least 2 periods before starting again. At least i'm well into the first!

So, i'll live, but will go into the next one with a little bit more trepidation.

xx

4 comments:

Hopeful Mother said...

I remember my Grey Day from my first cycle - much like yours. Waking up and realizing it was not just a bad dream, but at least having my husband there for comfort.

Hang in there - I know this is really tough!

andi said...

Ahhh lovely starbucks - I have forgotten what coffee tastes like - good to hear you have had plenty of pals on the phone... and ofcourse your fella being a sweetie. It is great news about Heather - and Kristen - who is having TRIPLETS - sooooo my dear it will happen for you too! Thanks for you advice re the phone - I will get him to try - and anyway - maybe its best that we don't know the result during our trip away!!? Tho I too am a woman that likes to take action.

andi said...

Ahhh lovely starbucks - I have forgotten what coffee tastes like - good to hear you have had plenty of pals on the phone... and ofcourse your fella being a sweetie. It is great news about Heather - and Kristen - who is having TRIPLETS - sooooo my dear it will happen for you too! Thanks for you advice re the phone - I will get him to try - and anyway - maybe its best that we don't know the result during our trip away!!? Tho I too am a woman that likes to take action.

Anonymous said...

Take care. You will be there one day soon!