Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Turning off the tears

It's no wonder they tell you to drink loads of water during the end up crying most of it out! I must have wept almost every day since last tuesday. A WEEK of waterworks.

Well...enough, already!!

I may be full of hormones still, but it's time to get positive and get back my life.

I've started exercising every day again. I've walked (and jogged a little) the last three mornings and am trying to cut back on the sugary comfort foods that helped me through the last few weeks. I think the effect is gradual. Yesterday was a bad one, punctuated with teary outbursts, but today i'm feeling SO much more positive!

I'm not giving up on the idea of this treatment working, but i'm trying to see the positive aspects to life without children. Lazy weekend mornings, money to spend on holidays etc, freedom to do whatever we like. Fewer pressures on MDB and I. If I can see the bright side on both sides of the family fence then maybe i'll be more relaxed.

Am I kidding myself? Who knows? But if it makes me feel better then it's got to be ok. Only thing is that I then worry that I might not want babies enough! Must I be DESPERATE if i'm going to deserve the gift of children.

I think I may be starting to sound a bit mad and rambley so i'll leave that thread.

My fledgling cookery teaching business also needs my time. My energies can be put to good use. I truly love what I do at the moment and that's got to be good for me.

MDB and I are also as good and strong as we can be. If we're being tested then we're holding up all right. I'm v lucky to have such a wonderful man to share my life with WHATEVER happens to us.

I'll concentrate on my blessings and on the other aspects of my life at least until we see our Dr next.

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