Desperate to multiply

We're having a really lazy Sunday. It's pouring with rain and grey outside and so far (at 2.30 in the afternoon) i've been nowhere!

Yesterday I worked and last night we went to friends for dinner. They were 2 couples with children ranging from 2 to 9. They talked about them but not in a way that made me feel awkward. They were asking lots about our column. I was worried what they think about us being so public about our problems.

We really relaxed, with good food, wine and lovely company. It's so nice to be just living again.

Our appointment with the doc went ok. I was really grumpy afterwards. Not sure why. He said he thought we should try indections for the down reg next time and meno-pur instead of gonal f for the stim. He wasn't happy with my stim bit. He said it was really hard to get my eggs out. He thinks maybe the eggs weren't the best and that next time, the different drugs may help. He wants to wait for two more bleeds - TWO MORE bleeds! He thinks it'll take that long for my body to recover. He said that the eggs I produce during a cycle have been growing for 3 months, so I need the time to recuperate properly. He's still positive about our prospects.

He said to go away and do something totally different. If we want to go ahead in late Jan then we should get back in touch with him. No pressure at all and v much leaving it up to us to choose the times. He's a lovely, lovely man and we both really trust him. He thinks we should keep the frozen embryo on reserve. We have time to use it in the future. As the first two didn't take, it may not be a great one.

I asked about why he goes for a three day and not five day transfer, and he said it's a matter of opinion. He thinks you lose more that way and won't necesssarily get a better chance of pregnancy.

I'd like to have tried again sooner, but i'll wait if that's what he thinks is best. I do trust him.

I'm ovulating at the moment. Makes me a bit grumpy when I think what a waste of yet another egg. Still, i'm doing my best to think of other stuff. My birthday next week, Christmas, work stuff. All takes my mind off the big issue. I'm going to enjoy the next few weeks and make the most of my first married christmas!

xxx