Anxious

Thank you all for your good wishes. I didn't turn on my laptop yesterday as I felt a bit knocked out from the anaesthetic.

I'm sitting at my desk in my home office trying not to look at the clock, to take deep breaths and to keep my mind on anything but "do we have any embryos?" They've normally rung by now.....

So, to keep our minds off things, I'll run you though yesterday:

Mr G and I get up at 8, get ready - no lotions and potions, no make up and no deodorant - and set off for the clinic. It's sunny and we take the roof down in his sporty little convertible. The sun on my face is gorgeous. Early Sunday morning is normally a great time to cross London, but last Sunday was dreadful because they'd closed lots of streets.

Yesterday, the To.ur de France was kicking off in London, so we knew it'd be bad. We probably should have left more than our usual 35 mins to get there. After our usual dispute over the route (which couple doesn't argue about which way to go?!) we decided to go east and try to cross the river in the City. What we didn't know - and should have checked - was the City was exactly wheret the flippin' To.ur was going. We got to the bridge we wanted to cross and there was a police road block. Apparently the next bridge was also closed. It was, by now, 9.45. I should've been at the clinic by 9.30 and the EC was due for 10am. I was just a little stressed. We called the clinic to see how long I had (bearing in mind the trigger was timed for EC at 10am) and they said get there asap.

With nowhere to park in the very security conscious City, we decided i'd get out and cross the river on foot and Mr G would get there as soon as he could in the car. I tried to think calm thoughts and actually admire London in the sunshine - the Thames and buildings on its banks looked spectacular. I arrived at about 10.

Our doc - Dr Big Hair had not even arrived himself! So much for the panic. I changed into my gorgeous surgical gown and answered the usual questions. The anaesthetist - tall sombre, Russian man - asked me lots of questions. They checked my vitals and I sat down to wait. There were 3 of us in for EC. One came out of recovery and one went in as I waited. Then Big Hair showed up - bless him! The nurses were v impressed he was in for me at the weekend. He and I chatted and then Mr G pitched up at about 10.40 - relieved he hadn't missed me.

(JUST CHECKED CLOCK AND THOUGHT AGAIN - WHY HAVEN'T THEY CALLED ME YET??!!]

I was nervous, but then, having done this 3 times now, it's all starting to be quite normal.

I must have gone in at about 11. I joked a bit with the lovely nurse and anaesthatist - who warmed up a bit. Woke up with that lovely cosy "what a good sleep i've just had" feeling. Apparently i'd already talked to Mr G, who'd popped his head round the door before he went to do his end of the bargain. I'd said - in my drug-hazed stupor and in front of the nurses and Dr's - "Go and do your stuff darling". I'd even pulled off my oxygen mask to do it. I have no memory of that! Mad! I just remember Big Hair coming in to tell me we'd managed FOUR EGGS! Sorry for putting you through that long story to get there. [I NEED TO KEEP BUSY OR I'LL BURST WITH WORRY] Phew - four big follies, four eggs.

I chatted to the nurse in recovery - giving her recipe tips fo couscous and marmalade chicken - how sad am I. She told me she loves her job but hates it when a girl wakes up from collection with no eggs. I was so glad to have my four, but now i'm scared none of them have fertilised!! [WHY HAVEN'T THEY CALLED ME YET - I'M GOING MAD HERE!]

I was last into the unit and the nurses were keen to get on with their Sundays, so they rushed me out of the unit. We drove home - all roads open now - with the roof down. We stopped to pick up my antibiotics - not sure why they dont' keep them there as we all need them - and some nice food. Then I sat on the garden with the Sunday papers and tea and enjoyed the brief sunny spell. There was (I kid you not) a Sumo wrestling tournament in the park behind my flat, so my peace was ruined by loud Japanese talking and wailing coming at me over the PA. It was an awful racket.

I"m back on the pessaries - how much do I hate those - and they're already bunging me up. Joy.

So, my roller coaster high of egg success has quickly turned into worry at the silence from the em.bryology dept at our clinic. Seems you clear one hurdle and you're straight into the lead up to the next.

Please, please, please let us have at least one embryo. I'll update this post with the news. Off to find something else to occupy myself with xx