I'm so so so very sad.
AF (hate the term but it works in this case) has joined me in all her glory, that fat bird is warbling like a canary and I feel CRAP.
No kidding myself any more that those embryos are doing anything at all. Maybe they just don't like me.
At least i'll get some better nights sleep now. Haven't really slept well all 2WW. Be good to have my mind clear again.
I'm going to wallow (quite a lot) for a few days and eat cake. I'll see you on the other side.
xxx
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A London couple's struggle to conceive
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About Me
- Portia P
- I'm a 43 year old ex Londoner just moved to Hertfordshirewith my gorgeous husband. Attempt to multiply began "in sin" but, just after our wedding, tests revealed severe MF meant we could try all we liked but without a modern day miracle - or at least the wonders of science, we'd always be two. We were instantly launched into a whole new world of acronyms - the land of ART. After two and a half years trying to escape back to a world where full names rule, at the grand old age of 39 yrs and 11mths, I gave birth to our little miracle and two became three. Almost exactly 2 years later, our one frozen embryo turned into our second miracle and we are four. Still amazed and grateful.
Quick history
June 06 Back from honeymoon to test results of 100% abnormal sperm. All tails deformed. No swimmers. Straight to ICSI
Sept/Oct 06 IVF ICSI 1: 5 follicles, 4 eggs, 3 embryos, 2 transferred, 1 frozen BFN
Feb/March 07 IVF ICSI 2: 5 follicles, 4 eggs, 2 transferred BFN
June/July 07 IVF ICSI 3: 5 follicles, 4 eggs, 2 transferred BFN
Dec 07 IVF ICSI 4: cycle cancelled
Feb 08 IVF ICSI 4.5: 3 follicles (I thought), 5 eggs (!), 4 embryos, 2 transferred
26 Feb 08 BFP hcg 331 (15dpo)
27 Feb 08 hcg 660 (16dpo)
29 Feb 08 hcg 1459 (18dpo)
10 Mar 08 1st u/s shows 1 sac and a heartbeat!
23 April 12wk (Nuchal) scan (day before Mr G's birthday) gives us a 1 in 3000ish risk of Down's. Happy Birthday Mr G
20th June 20 wk (Anomaly) scan looking good and reduces our risk or Down's even further. Go TP!
31st October 08 Our little man makes his entrance
January 10 Natural Frozen Embryo Cycle
12 Jan 10 Our 1 embryo - frozen in Oct 06 - thaws!
13 Jan 10 Transfer
25 Jan 10 Oh my goodness - BFP! hcg 106 (12 dp3dt)
26 Jan 10 hcg 195 (13dp3dt)
28 Jan 10 hcg 495 (15dp3dt)
10th Mar 10 1st u/s shows 1 sac and a heartbeat!
Girls sharing the ride
Mummies
15 comments:
I'm so sorry xo
portia--i am so sad for you--you are in my thoughts...hugs
Oh Portia, I am so incredibly sorry. You hang in there hon.
really sorry to hear this, portia. Sending you virtual cake.
I'm sorry. This really sucks after having gotten the faint line a few days ago. A real mind f*ck (pardon my language)!. Have some drinks, wallow away, we'll all be here when you get back.
I'm so sorry. Have two pieces of cake - you deserve it.
I'm so sorry, Portia. I am thinking of you both.
Crap. I'm glad you'll be sleeping better, but that's a pretty small silver lining. So sorry.
Bea
Take time for yourself to have drinks and cake...and lots of it. The phrase that you used "see you on the other side" is so appropriate. We are all here for you and understand the crazy frustration you feel now.
I'll have a drink for you...maybe two...
:)
I am sorry, Portia. I wish I could bring you a cake and eat it with you.
Just caught up on your last couple of posts and wanted to just say how sorry I am. I know how hard this crap all is - I've been there many times. Just be good to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Big hugs to you and I'll be thinking of you.
So sorry. It's just awful.
So sorry Portia. Eat cake, and ice cream and chocolate. Kind thought to you and Mr G.
I'm so sorry. Hugs Portia.
Dammit! I am so sorry!
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